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# Riviera Therapy: In Santa Barbara, we understand the importance of mental health and strive to create a compassionate environment for healing. At Riviera Therapy, our dedicated team of compassionate and skilled therapists is committed to supporting your journey toward well-being. We specialize in EMDR Therapy, Couples Therapy, Sex and Relationships, Parenting, Teens and Young Adults, LGBTQ+ issues, and Addiction. Our diverse group of professionals brings unique expertise to address your specific needs. Whether you're facing challenges related to anxiety, depression, trauma, sexuality, eating disorders, personality disorders, or relationship issues, Riviera Therapy is here to empower you toward more significant mental health and a fulfilling life.

## Sitemaps
[XML Sitemap](https://rivieratherapy.com/sitemap_index.xml): Includes all crawlable and indexable pages.

## Posts
- [The Importance of Social Interaction for Mental Health in Older Adults](https://rivieratherapy.com/the-importance-of-social-interaction-for-mental-health-in-older-adults/): Social connection is often treated as a quality-of-life issue, but it also has real implications for mental well-being in later life. Retirement, bereavement, health changes, and reduced mobility can gradually shrink a person’s social world. Over time, fewer conversations and shared routines can affect mood, stress levels, and a person’s sense of purpose.
- [Loving Someone With ADHD: Support for Partners Navigating Resentment, Rejection Sensitivity & Burnout](https://rivieratherapy.com/loving-someone-with-adhd-support-for-partners-navigating-resentment-rejection-sensitivity-burnout/): If you’re in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, you already know — it’s not just about forgetfulness or unfinished projects.
- [How Behavior Therapy for Children with ADHD Works: 10 Effective Strategies](https://rivieratherapy.com/behavior-therapy-adhd-strategies/): Specific, Achievable Goals: Breaking down tasks into small, manageable steps. This is great for all children, but especially those with ADHD due to task avoidance and overwhelm.
- [How Trauma Is Stored in the Body and How Somatic Healing Helps](https://rivieratherapy.com/trauma-in-the-body-and-somatic-healing/): Trauma is not only a psychological experience; it is also something the body remembers. Many people who have experienced trauma find that even when they understand what happened intellectually, their bodies continue to respond with anxiety, tension, shutdown, or pain. Psychiatrist and trauma researcher Dr. Bessel van der Kolk describes this clearly in The Body Keeps the Score, writing that “the body keeps the score,” holding traumatic experiences in physical sensations, nervous system patterns, and physiological responses long after the danger has passed. This understanding has reshaped how clinicians and researchers approach trauma healing, emphasizing the need to work with the body as well as the mind. Somatic healing plays a crucial role in this process, helping individuals reconnect with their bodies and release stored trauma.
- [Understanding Rejection Sensitivity in Kids with ADHD — and How Parents Can Help](https://rivieratherapy.com/rejection-sensitivity-in-kids-adhd/): As a therapist and someone who has worked with many families raising kids with ADHD, I’ve seen just how misunderstood this diagnosis can be. When most people think of ADHD, they imagine high energy or trouble focusing. But ADHD is much more complex than that—it can affect how a child regulates emotions, handles transitions, manages time, responds to feedback, and interacts with others.
- [ADHD & Intimacy: How Rejection Sensitivity Can Quiet Connection](https://rivieratherapy.com/adhd-rejection-sensitivity-intimacy/): Hello! My name is Shannon Fennell, and I’m a therapist at Riviera Therapy who works closely with people navigating ADHD, both those who have it and their partners. Just because ADHD is part of a relationship doesn’t mean it explains everything, and it definitely doesn’t mean the ADHD partner is the problem. Still, there’s one pattern I see almost every single day, and it’s time we talk about it.
- [ADHD in Love: Living in the ADHD Orbit](https://rivieratherapy.com/in-the-adhd-orbit/): Hi there! I’m Shannon Fennell, a therapist here at Riviera Therapy, and I run a group specifically for partners of individuals with ADHD. Why? Being a partner in an ADHD relationship can feel isolating, confusing, and sometimes overwhelming. ADHD isn’t just about hyperactivity or trouble focusing—it’s complex, emotional, and impacts relationships in ways that many people don’t see.
- [The Difference Between Pressure, Stress, and Responsibility & How to Manage Them](https://rivieratherapy.com/the-difference-between-pressure-stress-and-responsibility/): We often use the words pressure, stress, and responsibility interchangeably, but they’re not the same thing. Understanding the differences can help you navigate challenges more effectively, protect your mental health, and make better decisions under strain.
- [Trouble Sleeping? Try These Six Things](https://rivieratherapy.com/trouble-sleeping-try-these-six-things/): If you’re having trouble sleeping, here are six recommended changes that can help support more restful nights and easier mornings.
- [How to Share a Fantasy](https://rivieratherapy.com/how-to-share-a-fantasy/): You’ve been thinking about a fantasy—something that turns you on, something you’ve never said out loud. Maybe you want to share it with your partner. But the worry creeps in: What if they judge me? What if they get quiet or weird? What if I ruin what we have?
- [Understanding Intuitive vs. Intellectual Grief: How to Cope, Ask for Help, and Care for Yourself](https://rivieratherapy.com/understanding-intuitive-vs-intellectual-grief/): Grief is one of the most universal yet uniquely personal experiences we go through. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a major life transition, everyone grieves in their own way. One helpful framework for understanding how we process grief comes from the work of Dr. Kenneth Doka and Dr. Terry Martin, who introduced the concepts of intuitive and instrumental (often referred to as intellectual) grief styles. Recognizing your own grief pattern can be an important first step in healing.
- [History Of Kissing](https://rivieratherapy.com/history-of-kissing/): Kissing feels primal, instinctual—even essential to romantic connection. But the history of kissing is interesting and surprisingly inconsistent. I find that it’s also the first way many lovers make contact and decide if they want to proceed into something more meaningful.
- [Understanding Anticipatory Grief: What It Is and How to Cope](https://rivieratherapy.com/understanding-anticipatory-grief/): When we think of grief, we usually imagine it happening after a loss, after a loved one dies or something important ends. But grief doesn’t always wait. For many, it starts long before the actual loss occurs. This emotional process is known as anticipatory grief.
- [From Midlife Crisis to Growth: Developmental Changes to Expect and How Therapy Can Help](https://rivieratherapy.com/midlife-crisis-and-how-therapy-can-help/): It seems like we’re never done growing up—and it’s true! Middle adulthood is a pivotal stage of life marked by major psychological, cognitive, and interpersonal transitions. Typically defined as spanning ages 40 to 65, this life stage brings complex shifts in identity, relationships, and roles. Many clients arrive in therapy experiencing what’s commonly called a “midlife crisis,” which is often a natural part of ongoing development. Psychologist Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development highlights this stage as Generativity vs. Stagnation, focusing on the drive to contribute meaningfully to society and the next generation.
- [The Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Dance: How to Identify, Understand, and Heal This Common Relationship Dynamic](https://rivieratherapy.com/the-anxious-avoidant-attachment-dance/): If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner are caught in a frustrating cycle—where one of you wants closeness while the other pulls away, you might be experiencing the anxious-avoidant attachment dynamic. Often described as a “dance,” this pattern of emotional pursuit and withdrawal can leave both partners feeling misunderstood and disconnected, even if they care deeply about each other.
- [Your Partner Isn’t a Mind Reader](https://rivieratherapy.com/your-partner-isnt-a-mind-reader/): You know those moments when you think, “If they really loved me, they’d know”?It’s a common thought. It sneaks in when we’re feeling unseen, misunderstood, or just plain tired of saying the same thing over and over. But here’s the truth that’s equal parts frustrating and freeing: your partner isn’t a mind reader.
- [Cannasexuals: Intersection of Cannabis & Sexual Wellness](https://rivieratherapy.com/cannasexuals-intersection-of-cannabis-sexual-wellness/): In recent years, a growing number of people have begun to identify as Cannasexuals—individuals who consciously combine cannabis and sex to enhance intimacy, connection, and pleasure. As a sex therapist, I’ve seen how this trend opens up new conversations around consent, embodiment, and the ways we access pleasure. But what exactly does it mean to be a Cannasexual, and how can cannabis be used mindfully in our sex lives?
- [Birth Control Dilemma](https://rivieratherapy.com/birth-control-dilemma/): In heterosexual relationships, birth control decisions can become a major source of conflict when both partners refuse responsibility. One common dilemma: the man does not want to use condoms, and the woman does not want to use hormonal or device-based contraception. Resentment, mistrust, and emotional distance can result as both dig their heels in.
- [How to Find the Right Therapist: A Step-by-Step Guide](https://rivieratherapy.com/how-to-find-the-right-therapist/): Finding a therapist can feel overwhelming, especially when you need support the most. Whether you're struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, or burnout, the process of finding an available, affordable, and trustworthy mental health professional can feel like navigating a maze.
- [Why Our Discomfort With Discomfort Is Hurting Our Relationships](https://rivieratherapy.com/discomfort-hurting-relationships/): In today’s culture, discomfort has become something we’re conditioned to avoid at all costs. From physical pain to emotional unease, we are increasingly quick to reach for immediate relief rather than sit with difficult feelings. This pattern isn’t just affecting our personal resilience — it’s deeply impacting the way we connect with others, especially in romantic relationships.
- [Financial Partnerships](https://rivieratherapy.com/financial-partnerships/): Money can be a major stress point in relationships—but it doesn’t have to be. When couples work together on their finances, they build trust, reduce conflict, and set themselves up for a stronger future. Financial planning as a team is less about spreadsheets and more about communication, shared goals, and accountability.
- [6 Adoptee Vocab Words/Terms You Should Know: Understanding Key Terms for the Adoption Journey](https://rivieratherapy.com/6-adoptee-vocab-words/): Adoption is a deeply nuanced experience, one that can be nearly impossible to fully grasp unless you've lived it yourself. Recently, there has been growing conversation about the adoptee experience, with adoptees increasingly challenging long-held ideas like the expectation of gratitude or the notion that their adoptive families were always the best possible fit. Adoptees often share a wide range of emotions and thoughts about their journeys—emotions that are not always easily understood or validated in society.
- [Autism & Sexuality](https://rivieratherapy.com/autism-sexuality/): In this episode of Pleasure Project: Sex and Relationships, Host Dr. Jenn Kennedy asked Guest Dr. David Wohlsifer to return–this time to discuss a topic she is seeing more and more in her clinical practice as a sex therapist: autism and the unique experiences autistics face exploring their relationships and sexuality. This episode is not only valuable for those who identify within the autism spectrum, but also for those with friends or partners who identify as neurodivergent and who want to navigate their relationship better. 
- [How Object Permanence Affects Relationships in People with ADHD](https://rivieratherapy.com/object-permanence-and-adhd-relationships/): Object permanence is the ability to understand that people, objects, and responsibilities continue to exist even when they're not directly in front of us. While it’s a skill that typically develops in early childhood, many adults with ADHD continue to struggle with it due to challenges with working memory and sustained attention. For them, out of sight can genuinely mean out of mind—not from lack of care, but because their brains are wired to focus on what's immediate and visible.
- [Couples Therapy After an Affair: What to Expect](https://rivieratherapy.com/couples-therapy-after-infidelity/): If you’re considering therapy after infidelity, here’s what you can expect—and why the path to healing may start with painful honesty.
- [ADHD Series: Understanding Impulsivity and Its Impact on Relationships](https://rivieratherapy.com/adhd-impulsivity-impact/): Living with ADHD can often feel like your mind is constantly in overdrive—thoughts racing, emotions fluctuating, and decisions made impulsively in the heat of the moment. While ADHD is commonly associated with issues like focus and restlessness, one of its most misunderstood and disruptive effects is impulsivity, especially when it starts to affect the people we care about most.
- [Vacation Sex](https://rivieratherapy.com/vacation-sex/): Vacations are often associated with relaxation, adventure, and a break from routine. Many people find that they have more sex while traveling than they do in their everyday lives. But why does this happen? The answer lies in a combination of psychological, biological, and situational factors that make vacations the perfect setting for intimacy.
- [ADHD Series: Understanding Rejection Sensitivity and Its Impact](https://rivieratherapy.com/rejection-sensitivity-and-its-impact/): Throughout my experience as both a therapist and an everyday person, I've come to realize that ADHD is one of the most commonly misunderstood conditions. Many people tend to associate ADHD solely with high energy and an inability to focus. However, ADHD is a complex disorder that can manifest in a variety of ways, unique to each individual. It may involve challenges such as rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), sensitivity to criticism, difficulties with object permanence, impulsivity, inattention, hyperactivity, time management struggles, executive function deficits, emotional dysregulation, sleep problems, forgetfulness, difficulty with transitions, social challenges, and low frustration tolerance.
- [5 Common Reasons Couples Seek Therapy and How It Can Help](https://rivieratherapy.com/5-common-reasons-couples-seek-therapy-and-how-it-can-help/): In every relationship, challenges arise, and sometimes, couples need a little help navigating those rough waters. The truth is, no one is given a handbook for how to be in a relationship with another human. It can be difficult! There's more that goes into a successful relationship than attraction. Couples therapy, or (pre)marital counseling, is an effective way to address relationship issues and build a healthier, more fulfilling (and sustainable) connection. If you’re experiencing difficulty in your relationship, you're not alone. Many couples seek therapy for a variety of reasons. In this blog, I'll share the five most common reasons couples seek therapy and how it can help transform their relationship.
- [Understanding the Link Between ADHD and Codependency: Navigating Healthier Relationships](https://rivieratherapy.com/adhd-and-codependency-in-relationships/): ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and codependency often go hand-in-hand, creating some unique challenges in relationships. The overlap between these two conditions can lead to difficult dynamics, communication issues, emotional dysregulation, and low self-esteem. By recognizing how ADHD and codependency affect relationships, both individuals and couples can begin the journey toward healthier connections and personal growth.
- [Sexuality in Midlife](https://rivieratherapy.com/sexuality-in-midlife/): Midlife, typically defined as the period between ages 40 - 65, is a pivotal phase characterized by numerous transitions that can significantly influence an individual’s sexual health and intimacy. Understanding these changes is crucial for maintaining a fulfilling and healthy sexual life during this stage.
- [How Therapy Can Support Birth Parents After Adoption: Healing and Emotional Support](https://rivieratherapy.com/how-therapy-can-support-birth-parents-after-adoption-healing-and-emotional-support/): Adoption is an incredibly emotional and complex process for all involved, particularly for birth parents*.  After choosing adoption, birth parents may experience a range of emotions, including grief, shame, anxiety, grief, and isolation. While the choosing adoption can be motivated by love and the hope for a better future for the child, the emotional aftermath is often overwhelming. In these moments, therapy can be an invaluable resource to help birth parents process their feelings, heal emotionally, and build a supportive community.
- [Lets Talk Anal](https://rivieratherapy.com/lets-talk-anal/): In this bold and boundary-pushing episode, “All Things Anal”, Dr. Jenn Kennedy is joined by guest Dr. Evan Goldstein to explore the complexities of anal sex by delving into safe practices, health, and destigmatizing societal norms surrounding it. Dr. Goldstein is a renowned proctologist as well as the founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a proctology & aesthetic services practice in New York City. Additionally, Goldstein founded Future Method, a company providing various intimacy products, and the author of Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything in Between.
- [The Truth About Menopause & Better Sex in Midlife](https://rivieratherapy.com/the-truth-about-menopause-better-sex-in-midlife/): In a recent episode of Pleasure Project: Sex and Relationships, Dr. Jenn engages in an empowering and organic discussion on menopause with Dr. Kelly Casperson, a urologist and advocate for women's sexual health. They explore various topics surrounding menopause, including hormone replacement therapy (HRT), sexual health, the dynamics of couples' relationships during this stage of midlife, and debunking popular myths.
- [How Difficult Conversations Can Lead to Surprising Benefits](https://rivieratherapy.com/how-difficult-conversations-can-lead-to-surprising-benefits/): Hard conversations don’t get easier by avoiding them; in fact, they become even more difficult as we spend more time ruminating on them. Sometimes, we even create a whole narrative about the conversation and outcome before even talking to the person. I hear clients say, “I just spiraled starting to think about it!” When we avoid hard things, our mind becomes more and more fearful of said things. But similar to doing hard physical things like yoga or weightlifting, for example, the more we do it, the more we create the muscle and tolerance to sit endure uncomfortable positions. The brain works similarly. The more you practice having healthy, difficult conversations, the less likely it is that your brain will begin to fear them. You’re signalling to your brain that you are resilient.
- [Happiness in a Sexless Marriage](https://rivieratherapy.com/happiness-in-a-sexless-marriage/): A sexless relationship can be a deeply challenging experience, often raising questions about love, connection, and personal fulfillment. Society tends to equate physical intimacy with relationship success, but happiness in a marriage is not solely dependent on sex. While sexual intimacy plays a vital role in many relationships, couples can still find deep emotional satisfaction, companionship, and happiness even when sex is infrequent or absent. The key lies in understanding the reasons behind the lack of intimacy, adjusting expectations, and nurturing other aspects of the relationship.
- [Hibernation](https://rivieratherapy.com/hibernation/): When we think of hibernation, our minds often drift to bears slumbering in caves, bats tucked into crevices, or frogs freezing in suspended animation. Animals use hibernation as a survival mechanism, conserving energy during harsh winters when resources are scarce. But what if humans also hibernate—not in the literal sense but emotionally and relationally?
- [Nutrition and Mood](https://rivieratherapy.com/nutrition-and-mood/): Nutrition and mood are interconnected. Understanding how the foods you eat affect your mental health, mood and how you feel
- [How to Heal After a Long-Term Breakup](https://rivieratherapy.com/how-to-heal-after-a-breakup/): A breakup, especially after a long-term relationship, can feel like a deep loss. It may be hard to imagine life without your partner, and it’s normal to experience a whirlwind of emotions. However, healing from a breakup is a journey — one that requires patience, self-compassion, and a commitment to your own well-being.  If you’ve recently gone through a long-term breakup, here are key steps to help you heal and move forward with your life.
- [Considering Adoption? Read These Books.](https://rivieratherapy.com/considering-adoption-reading-list/): Adoption is a deeply complex and nuanced experience for everyone involved, often shaped by a multitude of perspectives and emotions. In the early 2000s, there was a big romanticization of adoption, inspired by celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Creating a mixed family that brings together different cultures and experiences became appealing to many. However, for adoptees and birth parents (and adoptive parents for that matter), the reality of adoption is far from glamorous.
- [Loving Your Partner with ADHD](https://rivieratherapy.com/loving-your-partner-with-adhd/): Through empathy, open communication, and a willingness to adapt, you and your partner can build a deeply rewarding connection, learning and growing together every step of the way. To better support a partner with ADHD, take the time to understand the disorder and its symptoms. Individual and couples therapy can be a great way to explore these dynamics and strengthen your connection. 
- [Fostering Secure Attachments in Adoptees](https://rivieratherapy.com/attachments-in-adoptees/): Adoption is complex and often more nuanced than society realizes. Many people assume children are adopted because their birth families didn’t want them or were abusive. In reality, most birth parents lack the resources or support to raise their children. With adequate support, their circumstances could be very different.
- [Goal Setting](https://rivieratherapy.com/goal-setting/): Life gets busy, routines take over, and before you know it, you and your partner might feel a bit disconnected or stuck in a rut. The solution? Goal setting. While most people associate goals with careers or fitness, they can be just as transformative when applied to your relationship and sex life.
- [Empty Nesting](https://rivieratherapy.com/empty-nesting/): Many of my clients are coming out of the fog of parenthood. Their kids have made it through the teenage years and are heading off to college or the working world. They don’t need parenting in the same way, except for an occasional Venmo transfer or airport run. They are empty nesting.
- [Relationship to Pleasure](https://rivieratherapy.com/relationship-to-pleasure/): I recently spent time in the desert—visiting a handful of friends and family who have made it their part time home. I noticed a shift as I entered city limits. The energy is light and joyful. People are playful and engaged. They aren’t rushing or competing—rather they are connecting—both to self and other. Most of the people I met are still working, but not in the 9-5 way. Rather, they are working early morning or in pockets throughout the day, so they have time to exercise, explore and socialize with friends. They make time for pleasure throughout their days.
- [Travel & Sex](https://rivieratherapy.com/travel-sex/): During my recent trip to visit a dear friend and her family in Utrecht, a charming town just 40 minutes from Amsterdam, I was struck by the inclusive, relaxed attitude toward sexuality. The Netherlands is renowned for its open and liberal approach to sex. This stands in stark contrast to more conservative attitudes found in many other parts of the world, including other European countries.
- [Women’s Sexuality](https://rivieratherapy.com/womens-sexuality/): Jessica came to see me for sex therapy. She doesn’t understand why she doesn’t want sex with her partner. She wants to want it, but most of the time she could go without. Our work together is not linear. Rather, there are many paths up this mountain.
- [The Power of Gratitude](https://rivieratherapy.com/the-power-of-gratitude/): In a retreat with Psychologist Diana Hill this spring, I did a gratitude meditation. She asked us to wander for 15 minutes and repeat “Thank you for X, Y, Z with each step.” I was initially distracted by the pacing, my surroundings and “getting it right.” Then I fell into a sort of trance as I recounted SO many things for which I am grateful. By the end, I was energized, centered and happier.
- [Election Stress](https://rivieratherapy.com/election-stress/): Do you have election jitters? We are in strange times with our political system and many people I see in my practice have free floating anxiety about how this is all going to play out. Election stress can significantly impact relationships,especially when couples hold differing political views. Political differences can challenge a couple's ability to maintain harmony, particularly during high-stakes elections. The stress associated with elections can amplify emotional tension, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings. Here are some of the dynamics at play when election stress affects couples with different political views:
- [Trying to Conceive and Intimacy](https://rivieratherapy.com/trying-to-conceive/): Andrew and Ella decide to try for a child. Their sex life suddenly swerves to an unfamiliar path while trying to conceive. They are acutely aware of the significance of their intimacy and feel self conscious as they try to casually approach sexual connection. 
- [Fetishism](https://rivieratherapy.com/fetishism/): Fetishism is a multifaceted and often misunderstood aspect of human sexuality. It refers to a heightened attraction or fixation on specific objects, body parts, or situations that become central to a person’s sexual arousal and gratification. While the word “fetish” may evoke particular images or assumptions, the reality is far more diverse, encompassing a wide range of practices, desires, and communities that vary from one individual to the next. Fetishes, (or paraphilias in clinical terms), are not inherently harmful or abnormal.
- [Pillow Talk](https://rivieratherapy.com/pillow-talk/): Pillow talk—the intimate conversation and connection that couples share immediately after sex—plays a vital role in deepening emotional bonds and enhancing relationship satisfaction. While people often emphasize physical intimacy as a key component of a healthy relationship, the moments after sex can be just as important for fostering trust, security, and emotional closeness between partners. Here’s how pillow talk can benefit your partnership.
- [Sensual Touch](https://rivieratherapy.com/sensual-touch/): Sensual touch is one of the most powerful forms of communication in human relationships. It transcends words, forging deep connections between partners by appealing to both emotional and physical senses. Through the act of touch, we express affection, arousal, and intimacy, making it a fundamental aspect of romantic relationships. Erogenous zones, specific areas of the body that are particularly responsive to stimulation, play a critical role in the experience of sensual touch. Understanding the value of this form of touch and its connection to erogenous zones can enhance intimacy, deepen bonds, and contribute to overall relationship satisfaction.
- [Best Practices for Clinicians Offering Sex Therapy with Lesbians](https://rivieratherapy.com/best-practices/): I came out as lesbian at age 19 and have navigated that process repeatedly for three decades. The queer community is consistently neglected in research, and therefore our clinical knowledge is hampered. Pairing my passions of sexuality and queerness, my PhD dissertation was a systematic review of the literature—with a focus on best practices for clinicians doing sex therapy with lesbians.
- [Normalizing](https://rivieratherapy.com/normalizing/): Shame is a one of the hardest and most common issues related to mental health. Feeling “wrong” or bad in whatever form causes embarrassment, dread and avoidance. One of my favorite therapeutic tools to help combat shame is normalizing.
- [Erectile Dysfunction](https://rivieratherapy.com/erectile-dysfunction/): I often see variations on this scenario. Erectile dysfunction (ED) can be a challenging issue for couples, but it doesn't have to spell the end of a satisfying intimate relationship. Addressing ED requires open communication, mutual understanding, and a willingness to explore new ways of connecting physically and emotionally. Here are some strategies couples can use to handle ED and still enjoy their intimate moments.
- [In the Flesh vs. On the Screen](https://rivieratherapy.com/in-the-flesh-vs-on-the-screen/): In our modern, digital age, the accessibility of porn has changed how we approach sexuality in the flesh and if we prioritize humans over screens. While porn consumption is often seen as a private, harmless activity, its effects can be far-reaching. Human relationships requires more effort and interpersonal skills—which can feel increasingly onerous for some. Clinically, I see how porn can sometimes be an exciting addition to spice up a relationship, however I also see it as pulling (often men) away from partnered sex. Understanding these differences is crucial for individuals questioning the role of porn in their lives and seeking to cultivate more meaningful connections.
- [Scheduled Sex](https://rivieratherapy.com/scheduled-sex/): The second set prefers to feel into the moment and are more somatic in their experiencing of the world. They more easily associate, physical pleasure or connection with erotic stimulation. These people can drop what they’re doing and turn toward a good time of any stripe. They aren’t as consumed with productivity, but rather they feel more inclined to go with the flow and respond in the moment to where their gut is leading them. These people tend to feel confusion about why their partner can’t get on board and be “in the moment.” They may also view scheduled sex as two formulaic, rote, and downright unsexy.
- [The Function of Sex](https://rivieratherapy.com/the-function-of-sex/): One of the questions I often ask my clients is why – simply why do you want to have a different or “better” s*x life? It seems like a given that everybody would want this, and yet most people don’t stop to articulate the why to themselves.
- [Porn: In Good Times or in Bad](https://rivieratherapy.com/porn-in-good-times-or-in-bad/): Porn is a loaded topic. It sits squarely between the two hats I wear professionally: sex therapist and sex addictiontherapist. For some, porn is lubricant for letting go. Albeit tragically unrealistic, it often provides a welcome spark that kicks off hot sex. Strangely, while we critique the weak storylines and cheap sets, we are drawn to the raw expression of lust and the consummation we know is around the corner. It’s an exercise of suspended disbelief where we give attention and volition to characters who we do not know or possibly even like much.
- [Book Recommendations](https://rivieratherapy.com/book-recommendations/): Embarking on a journey of self-discovery and enhancing intimacy within your relationships is a profound and empowering experience. This week, we bring you a curated list of books that delve into the realms of passion, polyamory, kink, s*x, communication, and connection. Whether you're seeking to strengthen your relationship, explore new facets of intimacy, or simply understand the complexities of human connection, these books offer valuable insights and guidance. Happy reading!
- [The Psychology of Faking It](https://rivieratherapy.com/the-psychology-of-faking-it/): Introduce the faking of the Big O. Sometimes all that pressure feels like too much work. Instead of asking for what we want (or don’t want), we, as women, decide to take the escape hatch and pretend to build and plateau into bliss—leaving partners feeling relieved and happy. Unless they are really reading the signs. Then, it’s actually a form of gaslighting. What you think is happening is actually NOT. Many partners likely don’t question it. And this creates a set up for it to happen repeatedly. If a partner thinks they have brought their female lover to org*sm once, then it doesn’t make sense when it doesn’t happen again. In this dynamic, women paint themselves into an awkward corner of dissatisfaction.
- [Good Vibrations](https://rivieratherapy.com/good-vibrations/): I’m currently reading Betty Dodson’s Sex for One. I am delighted by her evangelism for the pursuit of pleasure. Starting in the late 1960s, Dodson, an artist, turned her focus toward eroticism. She began drawing nudes, and she had several gallery shows the caused quite a stir.
- [Handling Sexual Rejection](https://rivieratherapy.com/handling-sexual-rejection/): We’ve all been there. In fact, we’ve likely been on both sides of the no, of sexual rejection, and neither side is easy.
- [What’s the Difference About Lesbian Sex?](https://rivieratherapy.com/whats-the-difference-about-lesbian-sex/): I’m dedicating this newsletter to the topic of my PhD dissertation: Sex Therapy with Lesbians. My goal was to contribute insight about how same-sex attracted women are unique in their needs for sex therapy and I thought you might be a little curious.
- [Female Masturbation](https://rivieratherapy.com/female-masturbation/): That song seemed so naughty in 1990. Because I was 13 and because no woman had ever admitted to touching herself, I couldn’t believe it was singing through my radio. With no evidence that anyone else did it or knew about it, I actually thought I had invented it. It was a delightful discovery at age 5 that has served me, ahem—well--over the years.
- [Releasing Inertia](https://rivieratherapy.com/releasing-inertia/): And so comes the sexual inertia. It’s the phase of a relationship when sex feels like more work that it’s worth. It’s when you want to want it, but you simply do not. Or you could want it if the other person did all the work. Or you maybe, might consider it if you finish all your tasks and felt rested and the stars aligned. Sigh.
- [Turn Up the Volume on Your Senses](https://rivieratherapy.com/turn-up-the-volume-on-your-senses/): What’s your relationship to pleasure? Sounds like an easy one, right? We love to see beauty, enjoy tasty things and feel all the good stuff. But really, do you allow yourself to relax, wind down and feel present in your body and in your mind? I find that many of my clients are chronically stressed out with work, family, and all the pressures of showing up and of achieving. So, when they end up on my doorstep wanting help with their sex life, they typically see it as another “problem” to solve. Here’s the rub: they are very good at doing and not so great at being…
- [It’s Hard Feel Pleasure With All That Pressure](https://rivieratherapy.com/its-hard-feel-pleasure-with-all-that-pressure/): So, you want to have sex and some pleasure. However, the audience (of your mind) has become unruly. They are critical and unforgiving. They notice anything and everything you are doing wrong. Their insults or doubt might include comments about how you look, how you smell or taste, how fast or slow you are moving, where and how you are touching your partner, and the list goes on. The peanut gallery are tough to please and you entertaining their criticism or trying to explain yourself only leads to more distraction… and likely an even less connected sexual experience.
- [FANOS Couples Check In](https://rivieratherapy.com/fanos-couples-check-in/): I often give this exercise to couples who come to see me for therapy. They want to connect with one another, but benefit from some structure. I love FANOS because it starts with asking participants to offer up a few feelings. This really softens participants towards one another. You can't argue with feelings. It helps them each have some curiosity as they start to understand what each of them are coming in with. Often times, I find that they are, experiencing multiple feelings at the same time that might not have been obvious. As they start to navigate through the exercise, people become more engaged and open.
- [Staying Mentally Healthy During the Holidays: Practical Tips for Reducing Stress](https://rivieratherapy.com/stress-during-the-holidays/): The holiday season can bring joy, but it can also be stressful, especially for those living with mental health challenges. According to a study by NAMI, 64% of people with mental illness say the holidays make their conditions worse. The combination of heightened expectations, social pressures, and emotional triggers can create a difficult time for individuals and families coping with mental health issues.
- [Incorporating Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills](https://rivieratherapy.com/incorporating-dialectical-behavior-therapy-skills/): In my work with couples and individuals, I frequently turn to psychoeducation, focusing on four key areas: emotion regulation, distress tolerance, effective communication, and mindfulness. These foundational components stem from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapeutic modality originally developed by Marsha Linehan for treating clients with borderline personality disorder (BPD), especially those struggling with suicidal ideation. Although DBT is rooted in psychoeducation rather than psychoanalysis or process-based therapy, it has proven to be one of the most effective treatments for BPD when its protocols are strictly adhered to. Over time, DBT’s scope has expanded to address various other emotional and behavioral challenges, making it an invaluable tool for a wide range of clients.
- [More than Just the End of the “Honeymoon Phase”: Understanding Breakups Through Biological, Psychological, and Social Factors](https://rivieratherapy.com/more-than-just-the-end-of-the-honeymoon-phase/): Written by Erin Kownacki, AMFT
- [Local therapist opens new clinic in Downtown Santa Barbara to meet growing need in community](https://rivieratherapy.com/local-therapist-opens-new-clinic-in-downtown-santa-barbara-to-meet-growing-need-in-community/): SANTA BARBARA, Calif.—Riviera Therapy owner Jenn Kennedy says the pandemic created a massive spike in the need for mental health services.
- [The Connection Between Self-Trust and Self-Esteem: Building a Solid Foundation for Well-Being](https://rivieratherapy.com/the-connection-between-self-trust-and-self-esteem-building-a-solid-foundation-for-well-being/): Self-trust and self-esteem are two fundamental components of psychological well-being that are deeply intertwined. While often discussed separately, these concepts are closely related and mutually reinforcing. Understanding the connection between self-trust and self-esteem can offer valuable insights into cultivating a healthier, more resilient sense of self.
- [Can I Divorce My Family?](https://rivieratherapy.com/can-i-divorce-my-family/): Family dynamics can be a source of profound joy and intense pain in today's complex world. In our practice, we've seen firsthand how relationships within families can unravel, leading to various forms of distancing.
- [Sexual Desire in Long-Term Relationships](https://rivieratherapy.com/sexual-desire-in-long-term-relationships/): Sexual desire in long term relationships are a hopeful “David” up against a myriad of “Goliath” stressors: competing responsibilities, pent up resentments, one or both partners having issues with body image and functioning, menopause, exhaustion, lack of novelty, financial or career demands and mental health issues (anxiety, depression, grief are the most common). Navigating through this midfield of challenges leaves many couples having occasional, obligatory sex or they are resigned to live in a marriage or relationship that doesn’t include sexuality.
- [Does “Sleep Divorce” Mean the End?](https://rivieratherapy.com/does-sleep-divorce-mean-the-end/): Anyone over 40 years old knows that sleeping becomes a closely guarded, prized experience. It’s how we regenerate and keep our minds clear and focused. It’s also hard to come by for many people, and having someone next to you can introduce a lot of variables.
- [Attachment Strategies in the Bedroom…](https://rivieratherapy.com/attachment-strategies-in-the-bedroom/): Families teach us how to socialize, how to resolve conflict, how to express needs — or let us know if that is even an option. Attachment is a core concept that is largely informed by original caregivers. British psychiatrist John Bowlby theorized the attachment system (how parents cared for us) performed in very young life is the basis of one’s internal working models of close relationships. He noted that when a person’s main caregiver is responsive and consistent, the person will more likely feel safe and secure in various types of relationships in later life. Bowlby believed that attachment security not only engenders a positive self-image and facilitates the development of mutually satisfying relationships, but also allows the individual to explore and pursue non-attachment activities, such as s*x.
- [Embracing Sexuality After a Conservative Upbringing](https://rivieratherapy.com/embracing-sexuality-after-conservative-upbringing/): Growing up in a conservative environment often comes with a set of rigid social norms and moral values that significantly shape one’s understanding of sexuality. For many of my clients, these formative years can create deep-seated feelings of shame and guilt, making it exceptionally difficult to embrace and openly express their sexuality later in life. 
- [Communication and Conflict Resolution](https://rivieratherapy.com/communication-and-conflict-resolution/): A significant part of our knowledge, behavior (both conscious and unconscious), beliefs, and actions stems from our childhood experiences and what we observed growing up. Now, I understand what you might be thinking, "Why does every therapist seem to trace everything back to my childhood?" The truth is, only some things do. Many of our adult decisions are made consciously. However, our early caregivers and family environment profoundly shape our beliefs, behaviors, communication patterns, attachment styles, and approaches to conflict. This influence often becomes apparent during arguments in relationships, highlighting the importance of understanding your conflict style and knowing what you need to navigate disagreements effectively and maintain a healthy relationship.
- [Tips for Managing Election Stress: A Guide to Staying Calm and Focused](https://rivieratherapy.com/tips-for-managing-election-stress-a-guide-to-staying-calm-and-focused/): Participating in an election stands as a cornerstone of our rights, a chance to amplify our voices in the world. One might assume such an opportunity would evoke positivity, empowerment, and confidence. Yet, reality often veers from this expectation.
- [What is Love Addiction?](https://rivieratherapy.com/what-is-love-addiction/): Love addiction is a complex phenomenon that manifests as fixations and compulsions within romantic relationships, often leading to unhealthy behaviors and emotional turmoil. Those grappling with love addiction may prioritize the needs of their partners over their own, leading to a cycle of people-pleasing and self-neglect. This is not to be confused with co-dependence. Expert and author, Pia Mellody, says, "A Love Addict is someone who is dependent on, enmeshed with, and compulsively focused on taking care of another person. While this is often described as codependence, I feel that codependence is a much broader and more fundamental problem area. Although being a codependent can lead some people into love addiction, not all codependents are Love Addicts..." Having a love addicted relationship can result in various detrimental outcomes such as divorce, extramarital affairs, diminished job performance, and conflict within relationships. Emotional distress, including anxiety and depression, is also common among individuals struggling with love addiction, as they experience intense highs and lows that strain their relationships and erode their sense of control.
- [Deception and Betrayal in Romantic Relationships](https://rivieratherapy.com/deception-and-betrayal-in-romantic-relationships/): Human sexuality is a complex and deeply personal aspect of our lives. Honesty, trust, and open communication form the bedrock of healthy intimate relationships. However, when deception seeps into the realm of sexuality, it can have profound and traumatic effects on the individuals and the partnership as a whole. This blog will explore the traumatic impacts of deceptive sexuality, specifically infidelity, on intimate partners and relationships.
- [Debunking Sexual Myths](https://rivieratherapy.com/debunking-sexual-myths/): Does a fish know it’s wet? Much like a fish swimming in the ocean with water as a lifelong given to their conditions, women are often floating in a sea of cultural myths that go unchecked. These myths hold you back from feeling deserving and confident in your full sexual expression.
- [7 Books for Your Mental Health Toolkit](https://rivieratherapy.com/7-books-for-your-mental-health-toolkit/): Studies show that reading has the power to change the brain's patterns, which can lead to improved mental health. Dealing with mental illness can be isolating, but it's important to remember that at least 1 in 5 US American adults experience mental health challenges each year. Seeking therapy and practicing mindfulness are practical steps toward recovery, and books written by licensed professionals and experts can be a valuable supplement to treatment.
- [Breaking Free from Love Addiction: Healing from Obsessive Romantic Behaviors](https://rivieratherapy.com/breaking-free-from-love-addiction/): Love is a beautiful emotion that can bring joy and happiness to our lives. However, when love turns into an obsession, it can have detrimental effects on our mental and emotional health. Love addiction is a serious issue that affects individuals of all ages, from adolescence through adulthood, and it is important to recognize the signs and seek help. Let's take a closer look at love addiction, its impacts on mental and emotional health, the signs of love addiction, and the steps you can take to break free.
- [Sexy Holiday Gift Guide](https://rivieratherapy.com/sexy-holiday-gift-guide-2023/): Shopping for that special person in your life can be tough. Candles, socks, and coffee makers are old news. Why not spice things up with a gift that you'll both benefit from? Check out our holiday gift guide below to see which sexy gifts are sure to please.
- [Open Letter to a Hesitant Client](https://rivieratherapy.com/open-letter-to-a-hesitant-client/): The quickest way to shut down a conversation at a party is to disclose that I am a psychotherapist. This recently happened at a friend’s wedding a few weeks ago when one of the other guests inquired about my profession; when I responded that I was a therapist, her head pulled back, her eyes widened, and her exclamation of “oh!” ground the conversation to a screeching halt. Most people clam up and quickly change the subject when they hear about my job as if I have a special type of x-ray vision that can read their thoughts. Upon reflection, I have a few ideas about why people tend to respond so strongly. Unfortunately, there continues to be a great deal of stigma surrounding mental health issues. I believe that there are a lot of misconceptions about what therapy is and what psychotherapists do, and I hope to address a few of those misunderstandings below.
- [Addiction and Intimate Relationships](https://rivieratherapy.com/addiction-and-intimate-relationships/): Relationship experts at the Gottman Institute, a research-based approach to relationships, report that "Substance abuse can intrude into and erode a relationship like an unwanted guest." The Sound Relationship House Theory developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman use the house metaphor to describe the elements of a good relationship. When addiction enters the home, it breaks down the essential components of a healthy relationship. Couples therapy can help bring addiction out in the open to be discussed as an uninvited guest. The addiction is the cause of the distress in the relationship, not the partner, helping reduce the stigma and shame associated with substance use.
- [Caring for the Caregiver: Yourself](https://rivieratherapy.com/caring-for-the-caregiver-yourself/): Caregiving for loved ones is more than a full time job. It is demanding physically, emotionally and spiritually. Caregiving requires endless patience and a focus on other. Day after day, you must show up and be kind and supportive. Typically, caregiver needs take a backseat. It's difficult to have alone time and to connect with friends because caregivers tend to be on standby at all times.
- [Parenting During Pandemics](https://rivieratherapy.com/parenting-during-pandemics/): With more schools and offices closing daily due to the COVID-19 pandemic, most parents are finding themselves at home with their kids around the clock. And while it is necessary for our physical health to practice social distancing or sheltering in place during this strange time, it is likely to take a toll on our mental health. No matter how much you love your children, being stuck at home with them indefinitely would be challenging--even for the most patient and grounded parent. Let's talk about ways to help both you and the kiddos cope.
- [Helicopter or Lawnmower Parent?](https://rivieratherapy.com/lawnmower-parent/): Helicopter parents were all the rage in the early 2000s as the Millenials first headed off to college. These dedicated parents are known for hovering over their children and then swooping in to rescue them at the first sign of struggle. They cultivated high performing kids who expected (and often received) top grades. More recently, parenting has trended toward a new type of gadget: the lawnmower. Known as Lawnmower Parents, they have a compulsive tendency to remove obstacles from their children’s paths--mowing down potential difficulties before encountered by their offspring.
- [More Than the Baby Blues?](https://rivieratherapy.com/baby-blues-postpartum-depression/): I have yet to meet a mother, or any parent for that matter, who has described the experience of becoming a parent as easy or exactly what they expected. That is to say, bringing a new child into the world, whether it is your first or your fifth, is big adjustment and can bring up feelings that are often unexpected. When this transition is coupled with the hormonal changes, lack of sleep, and other factors that typically accompany even the smoothest of pregnancies and childbirths, it is no wonder that 60-80% of new mothers develop the baby blues and 15-20% develop even more serious symptoms of postpartum depression (PPD) or anxiety.
- [Dogs, Cats & Couples](https://rivieratherapy.com/distancer-pursuer-dynamics/): The energy of a dog versus a cat can mirror that of couples where one person is pursuing, while the other is distancing.
- [Couples Resolutions](https://rivieratherapy.com/couples-resolutions/): The onset of a new year often kindles aspirational planning, also known as New Years resolutions. You want to be happier, healthier and more fulfilled. Your romantic partner is clearly part of this picture. They are a likely teammate you will look to for encouragement when the alarm clock rings early morning or the stress mounts at the office. Partners are hugely influential, so enlisting their support will greatly increase the likelihood of success as your motivation waxes and wanes.
- [Conscious Uncoupling IRL](https://rivieratherapy.com/break-up-with-grace/): Gwyenth Paltrow’s Goop.com made the term Conscious Uncoupling a household name in recent years. Coined by Katherine Woodward Thomas, the term has come to describe a civil and intentional approach, adopted by couples, who have decided to break up. Hallmark signs of conscious uncoupling include mutuality, reason throughout the process and acceptance for where the pieces fall.
- [Jumpstarting Your Sex Life](https://rivieratherapy.com/jumpstarting-stalled-sex-life/): In the beginning sex seems to magically happen. It can feel like there is a magnet between partners–a force that draws them together without thought or strategy. It happens in the morning, mid-day and at night. Schedules don’t hamper sex, nor does fatigue or finances. But as time goes on, couples get back to the business of life. They remember the piles waiting in inboxes and start to prioritize other commitments.
- [Myths of Couples Therapy](https://rivieratherapy.com/myths-facts-couples-therapy/): Half of all marriages end in divorce. That is a staggering statistic. And yet, many people are terrified to seek help from a therapist when the going gets tough. They often worry about what it means about the health of the relationship if they need help. Couples may also fear getting blamed for the obstacles in the relationship. No one wants to be on the hot seat. And yet, couples also can’t seem to iron out the relationship wrinkles on their own. Let’s start to debunk some of the myths about marriage counseling that get in the way of couples picking up the phone.
- [When is it Time for Therapy?](https://rivieratherapy.com/when-is-it-time-to-go-to-therapy/): In California, going to therapy seems to be as common as going to yoga. Executives all the way down to the interns mention their therapists in casual conversation in the break room. Who really needs therapy? And for how long? Can it be short term, as you are going through something particularly difficult, or is it a lifelong pursuit (like yoga) that makes you ever more evolved?

## Pages
- [Valarie Gardner, AMFT](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/valarie-gardner-ma-amft/): I'm passionate about helping couples improve communication, resolve recurring conflicts, strengthen emotional intimacy, and navigate life's challenges together. Using a compassionate, attachment-focused approach, I help partners better understand themselves and each other, break free from negative interaction cycles, and develop a deeper sense of connection, trust, and teamwork. I am trained in Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT), which helps to build the skills couples need to have the emotionally close, fulfilling and loving relationship they desire.
- [Jess Beck, AMFT](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/jess-mccormick-amft/): I see therapy as a space where people can pause, reflect, and reconnect with the parts of themselves that have been quieted or constrained. I work with adults, couples, and transitional-age youth, and I’m especially drawn to clients exploring sexuality and desire, queer and trans identity, and diverse sexual interests and relationship structures. I also support people working through religious or purity-culture–based shame and those wanting to deepen authenticity in their intimate lives.
- [Amara Muth](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/amara-muth/): I manage the operational aspects behind the scenes, ensuring our practice runs smoothly. My primary goal is to ensure our clients receive the highest standard of care and service. I take great pride in contributing to an efficient and supportive workplace where our team and clients can thrive.
- [Shannon Fennell, AMFT](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/shannon-fennell/): I believe the relationship between therapist and client is the foundation for meaningful change. Therapy should feel safe, collaborative, and paced in a way that works for you. When the fit feels right, growth has room to happen. I often think of therapy like tending a garden—we plant seeds of insight together, and you help decide how and when they grow.
- [Laurie Bienvenue, AMFT](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/laurie-bienvenue/): Going to therapy is one of the most courageous, self-affirming and transformative gifts we can give ourselves. Our relationships define us, and I am passionate about the inseparable connection between our minds, our bodies and our relationships.
- [Matthew Chung, LMFT](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/matthew-chung/): Are you struggling with past trauma, sexual challenges, or relationship wounds? I provide compassionate psychotherapy for individuals and couples navigating sexual trauma, porn and sexual addictions, partner betrayal, and struggles with identity and emotional intimacy. I offer a safe space for healing, growth, and connection. Specializing in male emotional intimacy, sexual dysfunction, sexual addiction, and couples’ recovery, I help clients reclaim their authentic selves and rebuild trust. Together, we create a path toward deeper intimacy, resilience, and lasting change.
- [Jenn Kennedy, PhD, LMFT](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/jenn-kennedy-phd-lmft/): My career path has been varied. I started as a publicist — then worked as a freelance journalist for over a decade. Both these careers were about my love of people. I had a burning desire to understand what made people expand and retract, struggle, or thrive. I’ve interviewed hundreds of fascinating people throughout my professional life.
- [Kristi Miller, LMFT](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/kristi-miller/): For over two decades, my passion has been helping families create solutions so they may enjoy more connected and loving relationships. I founded Solutions in Parenting, a private practice specializing in parent education, family consultation, co-parenting mediation, and psychotherapy.
- [Annie Finch, LMFT](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/annie-finch/): As a dedicated therapist with a deep passion for helping others, I found my calling in the field of clinical psychology, driven by the desire to make a meaningful impact in the lives of those struggling with addiction and trauma. My journey began as a CADC-certified alcohol and drug counselor, where I provided treatment for substance use disorders at CADA and Casa Serena. Through this work, I developed a strong commitment to guiding individuals and families toward recovery from the devastating effects of addiction.
- [Sex Addiction Therapy – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/sex-addiction-therapy-santa-barbara/): At Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara, we help people who feel trapped in these cycles find clarity and control again. Our sex addiction therapy program focuses on understanding the emotional pain and trauma that often sit beneath the surface. Many clients tell us they’ve tried to stop on their own but keep falling back into the same patterns. Therapy helps them uncover why, and start healing from the inside out.
- [Love Addiction Therapy | Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/love-addiction-therapy-santa-barbara/): Love addiction is often misunderstood. It’s not simply about loving too much or choosing the wrong person. It’s a pattern of seeking connection, approval, or affection in ways that begin to feel uncontrollable, compulsive or painful. For some, it means staying in relationships that aren’t healthy. For others, it’s the fear of being alone, the constant pull toward intensity, or the belief that love will fix everything.
- [Sex and Love Addiction – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/sex-and-love-addiction-santa-barbara/): Sex and love addiction can take many forms. For some, it shows up as compulsive sexual behavior that feels impossible to control. For others, it means becoming emotionally dependent on relationships or seeking constant validation from partners. These patterns often start as ways to relieve pain, loneliness, or anxiety but can begin to take over daily life and relationships.
- [Relationship Counseling – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/relationship-counseling/): Relationships are central to our lives and are also one of the most common sources of stress, misunderstanding, and emotional pain. At Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara, we provide relationship counseling to help couples, individuals, and families address challenges, improve communication, and foster healthier ways of relating.
- [Transitions Counseling – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/transitions-counseling-santa-barbara/): Transitions counseling helps people process significant life changes, such as:
- [Online Therapy | Santa Barbara and Beyond](https://rivieratherapy.com/online-therapy-santa-barbara/): At Riviera Therapy, we offer online therapy in Santa Barbara and throughout California. Whether you're managing anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship issues, or simply seeking to improve your overall well being through a life transition, online therapy gives you access to experienced, compassionate care, no matter where you live.
- [Young Adult Counseling – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/young-adult-counseling-santa-barbara-ca/): We specialize in helping young adults navigate life transitions, identity questions, and emotional overwhelm. Whether you’re feeling pressure at school, struggling with relationships, or uncertain about the future, therapy can help you find clarity and emotional stability.
- [Couples Counseling – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/couples-counseling-santa-barbara/): Yes, Riviera Therapy offers effective online couples counseling for anyone in California. Telehealth allows couples to work with a licensed therapist from the comfort of their home – ideal for busy schedules or those living outside Santa Barbara, CA.
- [Individual Counseling – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/individual-counseling-santa-barbara/): You might be navigating a tough life transition, facing relationship issues, or trying to manage symptoms of depression or anxiety. Individual counseling can help you feel more stable, supported, and equipped to move through life with greater ease. At Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara, we provide compassionate, evidence-based mental health care tailored to your unique needs.
- [Grief Counseling & Support Groups – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/grief-counseling-santa-barbara/): Compassionate grief counseling in Santa Barbara - in person or online.
- [Depression Therapy – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/depression-therapy-santa-barbara/): Evidence-based depression therapy in Santa Barbara - available in person or online.
- [Anxiety Therapy – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/anxiety-therapy-santa-barbara-ca/): Evidence-based anxiety therapy in Santa Barbara - offered in person or online.
- [Psychotherapy | Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/psychotherapy-santa-barbara/): If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, stuck, or emotionally drained, psychotherapy can help. At Riviera Therapy, we provide one-on-one individual therapy in Santa Barbara for adults, young adults, and teens navigating personal and mental health challenges.
- [In Person & Online Therapy | Goleta, CA](https://rivieratherapy.com/in-person-online-therapy-goleta-ca/): If you’re in Goleta, CA, and looking for therapy, Riviera Therapy in nearby Santa Barbara offers compassionate, effective care with flexible options. We provide both in-person sessions and secure online therapy for individuals, couples, and families throughout California.
- [In Person & Online Therapy | Carpinteria, CA](https://rivieratherapy.com/in-person-and-online-therapy-carpinteria-ca/): And while there are some great Carpinteria therapists, you might find that many offer only virtual sessions. At Riviera Therapy in nearby Santa Barbara, we provide both in-person and online therapy - giving you flexible options for your schedule, lifestyle, and comfort.
- [Pleasure Project Podcast](https://rivieratherapy.com/pleasure-project-podcast/): 
- [Pleasure Circle – Self-Guided](https://rivieratherapy.com/pleasure-circle-self-guided/): Some past Pleasure Circle participants shared the following:
- [Therapy Groups in Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/therapy-groups-in-santa-barbara/): Led by Laurie Bienvenue, AMFT, this group offers a compassionate space for individuals coping with the death of a partner. Participants will be supported in processing grief, rebuilding a sense of self, and finding connection during a profoundly difficult life transition.
- [EMDR Therapy – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/emdr-therapy-santa-barbara-ca/): When past trauma affects your daily life, EMDR therapy can help you heal and move forward. At Riviera Therapy, our licensed therapists use this evidence-based approach to help you process distressing memories and reduce their impact on your daily life by addressing not only thoughts and feelings but also body sensations linked to these experiences.
- [Speaking Engagements](https://rivieratherapy.com/speaking-engagements/): 3/25 Nourished Inside Out - Guest: Unlocking Pleasure & Connection
- [Pleasure Project](https://rivieratherapy.com/pleasure-project/): Sign up today for The Pleasure Project Newsletter to launch your sexual journey
- [Awards](https://rivieratherapy.com/awards/): Voted winner of Best Licensed Therapist in Santa Barbara by clients and colleagues for the 2025 "Best of Santa Barbara Independent"Jenn honored for Outstanding Chapter Leadership by CAMFT.Jenn awarded Distinguished Alumni 2017, and she spoke at Antioch University graduation.
- [Press/Media](https://rivieratherapy.com/press/): For those who describe themselves as empaths, the experience of expressing and experiencing empathy is more extreme than the average person. “Empaths feel things deeply and are acutely aware of the energy of those around them,” explains Jenn Kennedy, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara, California.
- [Read](https://rivieratherapy.com/blog/): Loving Someone With ADHD: A Space for Partners - Mid-Group Update! If you’re in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, you already know —…
- [Contact](https://rivieratherapy.com/contact/): Jenn Kennedy, Ph.D., CSAT, LMFT #99688
- [Parenting Therapy – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/parenting/): Parenting comes with joy, pressure, and constant change. At Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara, we offer parenting therapy that helps you navigate life’s challenges with confidence, clarity, and emotional well-being. Whether you’re a new parent, raising children with unique needs, part of a blended family, or facing behavioral concerns, we provide a compassionate and empowering approach grounded in evidence-based treatment.
- [Addiction Counseling – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/addiction/): At Riviera Therapy, we provide addiction counseling in Santa Barbara for individuals struggling with substance use, compulsive behaviors, and the emotional challenges that often come with them. Whether you’re dealing with alcohol and drug addiction, co-occurring disorders, or unresolved past trauma, we offer evidence-based treatment services to help you move toward recovery and stability.
- [LGBTQ Therapy](https://rivieratherapy.com/lgbtq/): At Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara, we provide LGBTQ therapy for individuals, couples, and families navigating life transitions, identity questions, and emotional challenges. Our team offers high-quality, compassionate, and culturally competent therapy services for clients across the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Whether you're working through relationship challenges, mental health concerns, or simply seeking a therapist who understands your lived experience, we’re here to support your well-being.
- [Teen Counseling – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/teen-counseling-santa-barbara/): The teenage years are full of change - and for many young people, that change can bring emotional stress, anxiety, or uncertainty. At Riviera Therapy, we provide teen counseling for adolescents and young adults in Santa Barbara, CA. Our licensed therapists offer practical support, tools, and a safe place for teens to talk openly about what they’re going through.
- [Sex Therapy – Santa Barbara](https://rivieratherapy.com/sex-therapy-santa-barbara/): Riviera Therapy offers compassionate, experienced sex therapy and intimacy counseling for individuals and couples in Santa Barbara and throughout California. Our marriage and family therapists offer compassionate, experienced sex therapy and intimacy counseling supported by training in clinical sexology, trauma-informed care, and clinical psychology.
- [Focus Areas](https://rivieratherapy.com/focus-areas/): Addiction Anxiety Therapy Couples Counseling Depression Therapy EMDR Therapy Grief Counseling Individual Counseling LGBTQ+ Parenting Psychotherapy | Santa Barbara Relationships Counseling Sex Therapy Teen Counseling Transitions Counseling Young Adult Counseling Outside Santa Barbara - We're Still Here for You Online Therapy in Santa Barbara Therapy in Carpinteria Therapy in Goleta Isha P.3 months agoI had an interview with Jenn Kennedy for my school paper. She was super helpful and kind!Eva B.6 months agoI was a little nervous at first to come to a therapist's office, but the moment I stepped in, I immediately felt a welcoming and cozy atmosphere. Every therapist I encountered was friendly and made it easy for me to feel comfortable in the space. I would highly recommend this place to anyone seeking support!!Grace S.6 months agoAs someone very sensitive to energy, I can confidently say that the Riveria Therapy office has the most comforting vibe of any therapy office I have ever been in! While the office itself immediately makes you feel welcomed and accepted, the people are what make the place. Everyone I had the pleasure of interacting with was warm, kind, and inviting, and made me feel overwhelmingly comfortable and safe.sarah M.8 months agoI cannot say enough about Dr. Jenn and her amazing therapists! Both myself and my teenage children look forward to our therapy sessions and the office is very clean and inviting! I highly recommend Riviera Therapy to anyone looking to improve their mental health and have a comfortable and safe experience!Jordan R.10 months agoJenn Kennedy came highly recommended as a couple's counselor by many people, and she did not disappoint. In fact, the hours spent in her office always exceeded our expectations, and sent us back out feeling loved by — and connected to — each other. Jenn is funny, smart, courageous — doesn’t take sides!!! — and is a terrific and trustworthy guide through the potentially tricky territory of sex as well. We now happily join those who recommended her to us.Nathan M.1 year agoEver since my rough patch that I went through I have been seeing Jacquelyn who has been an amazing therapist and extremely professional. I always feel comfortable with her and sharing all of my feelings unlike some other therapists where I was scared of being judged. She is an amazing person who clearly cares and gives amazing advice whenever I need it and has made a significant impact on my life. Could not ask for better support from Riveria Therapy.Krista G.1 year agoI attended a workshop with Dr. Jenn on female sexuality that was not only informative, but engaging. It helped me directly in my work with women professionals and couples. Additionally, she assisted me with some technical expertise I needed to make my practice more visible. Thank you so much Dr. Jenn!Brianna S.1 year agoRiviera Therapy is an amazing resource for those looking to heal. The office space is clean and beautiful, and the team there knows their stuff. I can't recommend Shannon Fennell enough for her work with couples, relationships, marriage, and those navigating adoption, infertility, and fostering.Jacob G.2 years agoThank you Jenn and team.Abi J.2 years agoRivera therapy has helped me so much! Jenn is wonderful and made me feel heard in our sessions. I would recommend her to anyone looking for therapy from someone who knows what they are doing and takes their job seriously!Melanie J.2 years agoMy family and I have been working with Riviera Therapy for years. I can’t thank them enough for always providing the highest level of care.Stacey2 years agoThe go to group for exceptional clinical expertise and matching skills of clinicians to client needs. Look no further and make the call today. You will not regret it. I recommend Riviera Therapy unequivocally.Charles P.2 years agoBy far the best therapist I have ever been to! Took their time and was always helpful.Justin C.2 years agoI cannot say enough amazing things about Riviera Therapy. My fiancé and I have been working with Jenn and it's transformed our relationship. She is an incredible person that just gets it.Dylan G.2 years agoAmazing experience. Highly recommend!
- [Our Team](https://rivieratherapy.com/our-therapy-services-team/): We were named Best Therapist in Santa Barbara in 2025! We are currently accepting new clients both in-person at our downtown Santa Barbara office and online throughout California. Our team of experienced and compassionate therapists brings a wide range of expertise to support you on your path to well-being. We specialize in five key areas: sex and relationships, parenting, teens and young adults, ADHD, and addiction.
- [About Riviera Therapy](https://rivieratherapy.com/about/): Voted BEST Therapist in Santa Barbara in 2025, we are a trusted mental health practice located in beautiful Santa Barbara, California, offering holistic and individualized therapy services for adults, couples, and teens. Our licensed therapists specialize in trauma therapy, anxiety treatment, depression counseling, and couples therapy—all provided in a warm, supportive, and inclusive environment.
- [Home](https://rivieratherapy.com/): Our team of experienced clinicians specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families navigate challenges in sex and relationships, teen and young adult issues, addiction recovery (including substance abuse and sex addiction), and parenting guidance. We use proven, evidence-based therapies — including EMDR for trauma treatment — to provide compassionate, effective care tailored to your unique needs.