History Of Kissing

The Many Ways We Lock Lips

Kissing feels primal, instinctual—even essential to romantic connection. But the history of kissing is interesting and surprisingly inconsistent. I find that it’s also the first way many lovers make contact and decide if they want to proceed into something more meaningful.

Not all cultures have embraced kissing in the same way, and the style, meaning, and purpose of kissing has evolved alongside human society. So whether you’re a passionate pecker or an affectionate cheek-kisser, let’s explore where this behavior came from—and why it still matters so much today.

Where Did Kissing Come From?

Historians and anthropologists suggest that the act of kissing dates back thousands of years. The earliest written references appear in ancient Indian texts, like the Vedas, dating around 1500 BCE, which describe people “sniffing with their mouths”—a poetic way to hint at early kissing behavior.

Some researchers theorize that kissing evolved from mouth-to-mouth feeding between mothers and infants (yes, really). Others point to kissing as a learned behavior that spread through contact between cultures—especially as empires expanded and people migrated. Fun fact: even today, some Indigenous groups in parts of Africa, South America, and Oceania don’t traditionally kiss at all.

The Romans, though, were definitely kissers. They kissed to show affection, respect, social status, and romantic intent.

They had three distinct terms:

• Osculum: a friendly or respectful kiss

• Basium: a kiss of affection (think romantic or familial)

• Savolium: a deep, passionate kiss

And in true Roman fashion, kissing was sometimes codified into law—like contracts sealed with a kiss, or the idea that a kiss could denote social rank. Imagine getting demoted because your boss kissed you on the cheek instead of the mouth.

Kissing Through the Ages
By the Middle Ages, kissing had become a staple in European courtship rituals. Chivalry and romance were on the rise, and lovers exchanged secret kisses behind fans or in shadowy gardens.

Fast-forward to the Victorian era, and public kissing took a nosedive (pun intended). Modesty ruled, and kissing became a private matter—one loaded with symbolism and moral judgment. It wasn’t until cinema entered the scene in the 20th century that kissing was once again front and center, becoming a cultural signal of desire, romance, and intimacy.

Styles of Kissing: It’s Not One-Size-Fits-All
Just like dance, kissing has many styles—and everyone’s got their preferences. Here are a few that might ring a bell:

• The Peck: A quick, closed-mouth kiss. Sweet, affectionate, and great for public.

• French Kiss: The classic deep kiss involving tongue. It’s about passion and connection, but it’s also about rhythm, breath, and mutual curiosity.

• The Cheek Kiss: Common in many cultures as a greeting or sign of affection. One cheek? Friendly. Two cheeks? European flair. Three? Dutch bonus round.

• The Forehead Kiss: Emotionally intimate, this style is more about protection, warmth, and tenderness than arousal.

• The Neck Kiss: Often the start of something more. Sensual and suggestive, this kiss taps into erogenous territory. (My personal fav)

• The Bite-and-Tease: Playful, flirtatious, and a little edgy—perfect for couples who like to mix things up.

Why Kissing Still Matters
Despite its varied cultural history, kissing remains one of the most powerful ways humans connect. It’s an exchange of energy, scent, intention, and emotion. Research even shows that frequent kissing in romantic relationships correlates with greater satisfaction and intimacy.

In long-term relationships, kissing often gets sidelined in favor of more “goal-oriented” forms of touch. But bringing it back—even just a six-second kiss before leaving the house—can rekindle warmth and connection.

So whether you’re into gentle forehead kisses or full-on make-out sessions, consider this your reminder: kissing isn’t just a prelude. It’s a language. And like all good communication, it only gets better with practice.

If kissing has started to feel routine—or has quietly disappeared from your relationship—you’re not alone. Many couples find that physical affection fades under the weight of stress, routine, or unspoken disconnect. At Riviera Therapy, we help partners rebuild emotional and physical intimacy through practical tools, honest conversations, and a deeper understanding of what real connection looks like. Visit us at Riviera Therapy to learn more and take the first step toward bringing the spark back.

Do you have sexy topics you want discussed? Reach out and let Dr. Jenn know