5 Common Reasons Couples Seek Therapy and How It Can Help

In every relationship, challenges arise, and sometimes, couples need a little help navigating those rough waters. The truth is, no one is given a handbook for how to be in a relationship with another human. It can be difficult! There’s more that goes into a successful relationship than attraction. Couples therapy, or (pre)marital counseling, is an effective way to address relationship issues and build a healthier, more fulfilling (and sustainable) connection. If you’re experiencing difficulty in your relationship, you’re not alone. Many couples seek therapy for a variety of reasons. In this blog, I’ll share the five most common reasons couples seek therapy and how it can help transform their relationship.

1. Communication Problems

Why it’s common: Poor communication is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy. The reality is that we all communicate differently. You likely learned how to communicate from your parent(s)/caretaker(s), and that may be very different from how your partner learned to communicate. Misunderstandings, constant arguing, or an inability to express feelings can cause frustration, emotional distance, and resentment. Over time, communication issues can create a barrier between partners, leading to a breakdown in intimacy and connection.

How therapy can help: Couples therapy offers a safe space where partners can learn healthy communication skills. A trained therapist helps couples express their thoughts and emotions openly without judgment. A neutral third party (the therapist) can almost act as a mirror to reflect how you act in your relationship. Having someone neutral to observe patterns and behaviors may shed light on dynamics you’ve never noticed. Techniques like active listening, “I” statements, and constructive feedback can help restore communication, making it more effective and supportive. Therapy empowers couples to communicate more clearly, reducing misunderstandings and fostering a deeper emotional connection.

2. Trust Issues (Infidelity or Betrayal)

Why it’s common: Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, but when that trust is broken—whether through infidelity, dishonesty, or other forms of betrayal—it can be incredibly difficult to rebuild. Relationship expert, Esther Perel, suggests that nearly 80% of our society has experienced infidelity in their life [or] had been affected by infidelity in their life. Trust issues, whether arising from your current relationship, past relationships, or what you’ve witnessed in your parents’ relationship(s), can create tension and insecurity between partners, making it difficult to progress in the relationship.

How therapy can help: Couples therapy provides a space for partners to work through the pain of betrayal*. A therapist can help navigate the complex emotions involved, such as guilt, anger, fear, and sadness. Through therapy, couples can identify the root causes of trust issues, discuss their feelings in a safe environment, and establish healthy boundaries moving forward. Rebuilding trust takes time, but with the guidance of a therapist, many couples can restore trust and strengthen their bond.

*Riviera Therapy has a group for betrayed partners. Led by Annie Finch, LMFT, CSAT, CADC, this support group provides a compassionate and empowering space for individuals navigating the pain of betrayal, whether due to infidelity, sex addiction, or other forms of relational trauma. Designed to foster healing and growth, this group offers both emotional support and practical tools to help you regain stability, rebuild trust in yourself, and move forward with clarity. Each session includes education on the impact of betrayal trauma, guided discussions, and a supportive community of individuals who truly understand.

3. Different Life Goals or Priorities

Why it’s common: At some point, many couples find themselves at a crossroads in their relationship. Differences in life goals, career aspirations, or family plans can cause conflict. For example, one partner may want children while the other doesn’t, or one may be focused on their career, leaving little room for relationship growth. When partners are not aligned in their goals or priorities, it can lead to feelings of frustration or even resentment.

How therapy can help: In couples therapy, partners can explore both their individual and shared goals. A therapist can facilitate discussions on how each person’s goals affect the relationship and encourage compromises or adjustments. Therapy also helps partners develop a shared vision for their future, making it easier to navigate potential conflicts in a way that strengthens their relationship.

4. Financial Stress

Why it’s common: My own therapist, many years ago, once told me, “There are three main reasons why couples argue: money, religion (or values in general), and sex.” Money is a major source of stress for many couples. Whether it’s disagreements about spending, debt, or saving, financial issues can put a strain on a relationship. Financial stress often exacerbates other relationship issues, such as poor communication or trust problems. Without proper communication, couples can feel disconnected and insecure when it comes to their financial goals.

How therapy can help: Couples therapy can provide tools for managing financial stress and encourage healthy conversations around money. A therapist can help couples address any underlying fears or insecurities around finances and develop strategies for discussing budgeting, saving, and making financial decisions together. By learning to communicate more openly about money and aligning financial goals, couples can ease the burden of financial stress on their relationship.

5. Intimacy Issues

Why it’s common: Physical and emotional intimacy are essential components of a healthy relationship. However, intimacy issues*—whether they stem from a lack of desire, emotional disconnection, or unresolved trauma—can create distance between partners. Over time, the lack of intimacy can lead to feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction.

How therapy can help: In couples therapy, partners can address intimacy issues in a supportive and non-judgmental environment. A therapist can guide couples in rediscovering physical and emotional intimacy by helping them understand the factors that may be contributing to their issues. Therapy can also help partners communicate openly about their needs and desires, fostering a stronger emotional and physical connection.

*Riviera Therapy has a group focused on increasing intimacy and pleasure. The Pleasure Circle is a 6-week curriculum (for women and/or couples) developed by Sexologist Dr. Jenn Kennedy to address the most common challenges related to intimacy. These include low desire, low confidence, disconnection to self or partner, and hesitancy due to body image or cultural messages. During this small group intensive, participants receive weekly mini-lectures, writing prompts, and facilitated discussions to help accelerate their journey toward feeling empowered and embodied erotically. Participants leave this group feeling grounded, connected, and more hopeful and playful about their sensual side.

Why Couples Therapy Works

Couples therapy offers more than just a solution to immediate problems; it provides tools for building a lasting, healthy relationship. Through therapy, couples learn to:

• Improve Communication: Couples learn how to listen actively and speak openly without fear of judgment or conflict.

• Build Trust: Working through trust issues helps rebuild a solid foundation of honesty and security.

• Create Shared Goals: Partners can align their values and aspirations, ensuring they’re on the same page for the future.

• Manage Stress: Therapy equips couples with skills to handle external pressures, like financial stress, in a healthy way.

• Restore Intimacy: Couples therapy helps reignite both physical and emotional closeness.

Conclusion: Don’t Wait to Seek Help

If you’re facing any of the challenges mentioned above, couples therapy can be a powerful tool in rebuilding your relationship. Many couples are hesitant to seek help, but waiting too long can make the issues harder to resolve. The sooner you seek therapy, the sooner you can work towards a happier, healthier relationship. Remember, every relationship faces struggles (Disney steered us wrong in believing every relationship is seamless), and seeking therapy is a positive step towards growth. If you’re ready to improve your relationship, take the first step and reach out to explore which couples therapist at Riviera Therapy may be a good fit for you.